When I Was a Chylde

When I was a Chylde

When I was a chylde, I spake as a chylde, I understood as a chylde, I thought as a chylde, but when I became, I put away chyldish things 1st Corinthians 13:11
I always loved to read. In addition, write, and study. Audrea had other intentions on her mind. She wanted to learn to sew, and learn the proper way to hold your fan and to pour tea. That never interested me in the least. If you could hold a cup, you could feed yourself, if you could swipe at a bug, you could fan yourself.
My gran was my teacher. She and the watcher miss Elspeth. Did not ever know if that was her last name or first, I never asked that question. I was always too busy asking others.
"Gran, how old are we?" (I spoke as a child)

"As old as time." she would say.

"And how old is that?" I would ask.



"Old." she would say

"And how old is God?"



"A little bit older than we are."



"And how old is the earth?"



"Not as old as we are."



"Where did we come from?" I would say, my butt getting numb from the wooden seat.



"From Heaven." she would adjust her glasses on her nose.



"And why aren't we there now?" I would pick at my hangnail some more. (I thought as a chylde)



"Because we were to be put down here to live.," she would erase something else, and put it back in another form of language.



"And how old is heaven?" I asked, twirling a lock of hair around my finger.



"Older than the earth, less old than God, and longer than the patience I have with you right now!" she would take that ruler and smack it down to make me jump.
She knew I was just stalling, bored, and not wanting to be there at that moment, but out with eryk on the moors fishing or gathering flowers.



"And why are we here?"



"Because the elders sinned against God."



"And how did they sin?" sucking on my lip.



"They fell in love with the daughters of the first Adam and the first Eve which was Lilith."



"And falling in love is a sin?" I asked, truly wanting to know now, because I always thought that God taught us that we should love one another, even as we loved ourselves.



"No, falling in love is not a sin. it's only a sin if it is for selfish reasons." she cocked her head sideways to see if she had gotten that last hieroglyph right.



"And how that was love selfish?" follow thru reigne, and do not leave me hanging Granma...



"Well, the Elders were here to watch, and to help, not hinder with getting involved in the affairs of man." she scratched her head and re did the whole entire cartouche.



"And why did they get involved with the affairs of man?" (I understood as a chylde)



"They had a free will, and thought that in some way, by teaching man what we knew, it would help them. Instead, man became greedy with the knowledge that they had acquired."



"Is Lucifer bad?"



She laughed. "Hm, some would think. I thought him just jealous and greedy. He was full of himself, always thinking that just because God favored him above all the rest of us, he was special."



"So, do we come from him?"



"No, chylde, we come from the Descended Ones. The Ones who were put down here to defeat Lucifer and his legion.



"So...what exactly is Miss Elspeth?"



"She is what we were supposed to be. She watches records. They train the ones that we give the gifts to now. God granted that of us. That’s how we redeem."
"Gran, what's redeem mean?" full fledged numbness had set in now.



"To forgive, to get back what is lost. We can grant that to the ones who seek it. The ones who have been corrupted by Lucifer’s' lies. The demons that he has created, the creatures of the night that roam. The worse of the angels if they choose to have it."She sat down with yet another book to copy from.



"Gran..."
A look of exasperation crossed her face, "What now?"



"Um...can I go to the privy? My bottom is numb and I don't know if I have used it on myself or not."
I spake as a chylde...



Looking back, I have Become now, and I have to put away all of those chyldish things...

Clouds

 

What was it, just a moment ago that she had on her mind? She closed her eyes to the bright sun and tried to think of it, to no avail. Her thoughts as of late were will-o' the wisps, flaming up only to disappear once recognized. It wasn't the first time today, or was it the first time today? And what exactly was today? Maybe it was just yesterday and she didn't realise it. Could it be that she was in the future of today because she was in yesterday, and that tomorrow was just a work of fiction that never really did show up. After all she thought, tomorrow was an elusive thing. Did it ever really get here as it is today once it starts, thus rendering 'tomorrow' a mythos in our minds.

She smiled. She was rambling again wasn't she? And still the thought she lost was just that, lost. She opened her eyes watching the clouds roll by under the azure sky. It was warm today, unlike yesterday which was cold and still winter-like. It was finally spring, or so she hoped. She could distinguish certain fragrances that began to emerge from the earth, violet, daffodils and Lily of the Valley were abundant in the meadow this time of year. The various flowers was what brought her to this part to begin with, cutting them in the late part of spring, and early part of summer. She loved fresh flowers, and would replace them around the house once a week. Her mother had taught her to add an aspirin to the water, or baking soda in order to prolong their life. The thought made her giggle. Too bad you couldn't to that to humans, but then again didn't people take an aspirin a day in order to prevent heart attacks? So, she guessed in essence, they actually did add aspirin to live longer. She sighed. Her thoughts were a train wreck. They derailed every so often, crashing into a random school bus that stalled on the tracks.

She heard a noise. A low hum that got louder by the moment. She closed her eyes and started praying. That sound, it was back which meant they were back. If they were back, then that meant her peace would be disturbed once again. It was annoying, let alone redundant. Out of all the places anyone could go why did it have to be where she was? Couldn't it be any other place in this God forsaken county? DID it have to be here? Wasn't there a stand of trees just over the small hill to the North of here? Yes, yes there was and that's where they really needed to be instead of where she was. How many times had they visited since she'd been there? Four? Five? Truth be told, she couldn't remember that either. She sighed once again, lying still and waiting for them to leave. It wouldn't take long, they never took long. Thirty minutes at the most if that.

She heard the motor shut off, doors open and shut, trunk open and shut. She held her breath waiting for the sounds to start. They always did. She tried blocking them out, but there were times she would hear them in her sleep. She didn't know why, but there they were in the middle of the night, the noises waking her from her dreams.

“You ready?” she heard the man say. “Yeah, hold on, let me get these off.” the woman spoke soft and seductively. She often imagined him in a white under shirt and faded jeans, while the woman would be smoothing down the wrinkles of her yellow poplin a-line dress. He would have a ball cap on, Brooklyn Dodgers and she would have a white silk cloche covering beautiful shiny brown hair. Her gloves would be short ones, white lace to match the shawl around her pale shoulders.

As she thought, it didn't take them long. She heard them laughing as the doors opened to the car. Once again, the car started with a roar, and she heard them drive off. How many times this past month or so had they been there? She couldn't remember.

The sun had returned from out behind the clouds. It was getting hot. It was also getting late. It would be dark soon. She didn't like the dark. Well, that wasn't a very true statement, because without the dark there would not be any stars. She loved the stars. She didn't like what was in the dark. Noises, night sounds. Animals creeping about. She didn't mind the crickets and frogs. She did mind the chattering of the raccoons and the opossums scattering when the wind blew. At first, it scared her. Not so much anymore, but she still didn't have to like it. She didn't like the smells either, other than the flowers. The flowers masked the other smells. That was something she couldn't get used to. And it would start soon again, with the leaving of the man and woman. A day, maybe two. It always did. After a week when the body exploded from the gases that would be trapped, it would be noxious to breathe.

She didn't do that anymore. Breathe. She had been there for a while now. A month? Two? She lost count. Her fluids had long been soaked up by the earth under her. Her flesh eaten away by the raccoon and opossums. There had been carrion as well, but more four legged creatures than anything. Her bones had been bleached out from the same sun that was still hot upon them. But her soul remained. Tethered to its' earthly realm by the act of violence that had killed her body. She wondered if the same happened to the others. She wondered at times when she could form a whole thought, if they were lying next to her thinking the same thing she was.

What was that thought again? She couldn't remember. It was lost in that great void that was her mind. She smiled. The clouds were rolling in again. She loved watching the clouds.