The Evil Inside

(I have Chronic Lyme. Last week I found out that it has now caused the lining in both my eyes to become infected. There's a long technical term for this, but I can't exactly remember what the doctor had said..I was in too much shock to really comprehend what he was saying...
This past week has been sheer hell. I'm on eye drops three times a day for the next three months. He also put me on some other meds for the Lyme in order for it to hopefully go back into remission.
For me, it saddens me to no end for various reasons. I may or may not lose my eye sight. THIS could have been AVOIDED had my medical doctor checked my Lyme to see if it was out of remission back in NOVEMBER when I had an episode. He COULD HAVE CHECKED IT WHEN I BEGGED HIM TO 6 WEEKS AGO but REFUSED.
You see...the doctors in my area believe that once you've been treated you are over it. This isn't so. Chronic Lyme is real. The pain is real. The consequences of NOT being checked often and when something is going wrong in you and YOU KNOW IT...is real.
It took an Osteopathic Doctor for the Lyme to be found almost 3 years ago. Last week it took an Optometrist to find out that it's out of remission and now invaded my eyes. My heart is already messed up because of Lyme. My right kidney, the nerves in my head and now both my eyes....all because the doctors refuse to learn more about this disease, they refuse to listen to the patient who requests the test, they refuse to acknowledge that anyone may actually know what's going on with their body and knows when something needs to be done.
So..while I can see right now and I'm able to post, I wanted to post this poem that had been on my mind the past couple of days.
I don't know when I'll be able to get back on the internet again, as it hurts my eyes to try to concentrate on the words and the white of the screen... Hopefully I'll be back soon. Hopefully these drops will work quick and I will be able to see better again. Hopefully...hopefully others with this horrible thing in them can find doctors who are willing to help them and to listen to them...hopefully...)



The Evil Inside
It lies there dormant at times
Waiting for a chance to escape
Patiently plotting what next to do
Knowing soon that I will break

Slowly it emerges from sleep
Flowing freely through my veins
Settling in to rest within me
It is whom I blame

It mocks me with every twist and turn
A Symbiotic relationship I wish not to have
Invading every fiber of my being
Making this once proud rebel a slave

No longer am I able to be
That strong person I was
In place now just a fragile shell
Who does nothing but withdraw

Maybe soon there will be a cure
For this evil that is within
Before my body is faded and dead
And I can regain my life again….