Twin Flames

I saw him, lying on top of the spread, face down naked. He was sound asleep, the direct result of a long day at the office. The towel lay in the floor at the bottom of the bed, abandoned after the wetness of his body had been dried.

I was quiet in my entrance, standing in the open doorway to the semi darkened room. The sight of him always left me a little off balance, feeling as if I couldn’t breathe. He did something to me I didn’t like. He made me want. I never liked having that feeling, always opting for the ‘it didn’t matter and if it happened it happened’ feeling. This was different. He was different.

I stood there, soaking in his aura, feeling the energy that was wafting from him, the muskiness that was all male could be felt as well as scented. He was a work of art, Michelangelo could not in my opinion have sculpted a better piece. There was just something about him that I couldn’t put my finger on that drew me to him.

He moved slightly, his leg jerking in his sleep, the smallest movement from him making my heart skip a beat. I had known him for ever it seemed, for lifetimes I knew, but this time around it was different. This time it was meant for us to be, and be happy. We were, I thought, given the circumstances of both our lives. Happy to an extent with the life we lived with others, taking what we were given by them, and giving without fear or trepidation to each other fully, wholly. They were always the other half of us, but he and I…we completed each other.

I had never known anyone like him, someone who enjoyed the same music, movies and life in general as I did. There were so many similarities that it was at times uncanny and somewhat unnerving to me. I had dreamed of him, years before I had ever met him. He was always in a hurry, gun in hand, drab olive green surrounding him…then it would fade.

He spoke once of the soul, reading me lyrics to a song he loved to listen to. As his voice resonated the words, hearing it waver, seeing his hands shake a little, watching him lick his dry lips as he spoke, tears began to fall from my eyes. No one had ever said anything like that to me. No one ever looked at me the way he had at that very moment. He touched something in me I had thought ages ago had died, never to return to this time and plane.
“I only wish I could say…but these words…they say it all, because you do. You pull me back when I’m on the edge, you take away my pain, and you make me dream again…” he had said, his hand coming up to wipe my cheek of the salty brine.

We made love that night. Sweet, tender, slow, full of the pent up emotions that had been brewing for well over a year. Everything came out that night, as we lay spent in each others arms, our bodies entangled as once our souls were, eons ago.

We made our own little world, he and I. we lived double lives, talking of our every day existence to each other, helping out with each others problems, listening to each other. We talked incessantly of Mozart, Bogart, battles fought and won, and battles yet to be. It was his work, my work, our kids, our others, but in the end, it was the kiss goodnight that always was thought of as our eyes closed, as we lay with the ones’ we were with…that was thought about.

We were more like the Twin Flames I thought. Soul mate he was mine, Twin Flame very much so. We shared our energy with each other, giving equally with our selves. It seemed he always shone brighter when he talked to me. Sometimes I could see him at work, aggravated, at home distracted, and I could feel his energy dissipate. I knew there were moments that he would pick up the phone to call, only to put it back down again. He was unsure, his mind fighting with the logical realm, his spirit longing for the desires of his heart. At times, he didn’t understand his feelings, which made him angry at himself, frustrated for feeling the way he did, feeling that on all levels this was wrong, but yet…deep down, knowing that in his soul, how could it not be right?

It was confusing, I know. You live with a person all your life, loving that person, knowing that you will die with them. You know that you have married them for reasons, staying with them for a lot more, then something happens that throws your whole universe into a black hole.

I had learned a long time ago, that you could be with your companion soul mate, love that person as it should be, without them being your twin flame.
There were so many levels to lives and souls, that people were yet to realise, or some, even care about. Life wasn’t cut and dry, black or white. Life was a rainbow, just like a soul. There were so many levels to a spirit, so many different distinctions to the soul, that sometimes it boggled my mind.

There was more things in Heaven and Earth that could ever be dreamt of in any philosophy. I felt very thankful and privileged that some of those doors had been opened to me.

I licked my lips, and quietly walked over to the foot of the bed. He lay there, unaware of my presence, deep in the rest of the angels. I wanted to touch him, to feel his skin beneath my fingers. I wanted to feel the melody of his aura as it played with fervor around his physical being.

I closed my eyes and inhaled his spirit, sensing the day that he had, the moments he had anticipated, the relief he felt coming here, and the rest he was now enjoying.

There was so many feelings and thoughts he had during the day, and right now his mind was calm.

I sat down on the chaise near the dark oak bed to watch him sleep.
To want to touch him and not be able to was an exercise of the mental state as well as the physical. It was a test that I put myself through sometimes, always the wait was worth it.

He stirred again, goosebumps forming on his nakedness. His spirit felt me, knew I was there. Soon he would wake. Soon I would see his bright smile and twinkling blue eyes.

Then, our flames would be one again….

(Authors' note: This was supposed to be something different in the aspect of the physical. But, the more I gazed upon the subject of the text, the more spiritual the story became. I can't explain as to why my writings take these turns, other than to say, the soul takes over, the spirit drives, the mind takes a back seat, and the heart is along for the ride. I hope that this suffices as it is somewhat borne on a much higher plane of the mind...)